It's Christmas.

I'm with family.

I am H1N1-proof.

My hair looks nice today.

It's sunny out.

Happy.


:)

Just because I feel guilty that I didn't update so much this year, here's another entry hehehehe. Besides, I'm sick and there's only so much I can reach from my hibernation bed.

My Christmas Wishlist!

- Petzl headlamp Found a cheap good one. Swiss outdoor stores are awesome.
- nice, portable coffee mug
- good pair of jeans (these are always on my list, because they're so hard to find)
- wide angle camera lens, telephoto :P ....or just some place where they can clean my lenses, i'm a crappy person when it comes to caring for technology
- ipod speakers (these look cool)
- books, dvds (netflix membership?)
- Threadless tshirts :)
- kitchen stuff
- a nice chair (This looks awesome)!
- boyfriend with a car? hahaha (another one always on my list :D)
- nice, thick socks
- fuzzy slippers
- world peace, cure for aids, end to hunger and global warming, etc. the usual.

Oh my God, I have not written an entry for a long time. This is baaaaad. The months of September-December are practically empty, plus the entries from earlier in the year aren't really of substance anyway.


I blame it all on Facebook. and Twitter. And their convenience.
:(


* * *


Sometimes, in an effort to forget, I forget too well. Does that make sense? In an effort to move on, say, from heartbreak, or from disappointment, I block out all memories associated with that particular event. And in so doing-- yes, I am able to move on, I learn, I become stronger. I don't feel sad, or frustrated anymore. But then, I actually forget. Too much of the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind stuff. I also forget the good, the silly, and the special, irreplaceable moments.

But then I start to reminisce, and all the good memories come back, and I forget the bad. I start living in daydreams. It's a sick cycle.


I'm slowly rediscovering some of my special memories which I had previously locked away. I'm rediscovering them through entries here in my LJ, or by digging through Facebook photo albums, but more often, it's simply opening up a conversation again with those old friends. I don't think it's a sign of weakness. It may even be the opposite, to be able to tell yourself na, oo, masakit yung mga nangyari, pero okay na ako, I can open those closed chapters again.

"you know the phrase "you can't love anyone until you love yourself"? well, most people don't love themselves. Most people get married before they've even figured themselves out. in order for marriage to work, you need to be relatively sane and mentally healthy, as well as having respect for people in general and respect, love, and admiration for your spouse."